Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a rut? If you've never, well, I envy you because right now I'm in a rut that I don't know how to get out of.
In fact, I think I've been in and out of this rut — a little hole of an uninspired place — for this entire year.
Before I make anyone worried, I'm OK, really. It's just that ever since I moved early this year to a new city, living in a hotel room that's pretty much just a big box, I've been struggling to feel as lively as I was back in my beloved hometown — perhaps being an urban girl surrounded by nothingness contributed to that.
To make you understand the context of this "nothingness" I mentioned: the nearest cinema to where I live now, in the nearest mall, is one hour and 20 minutes away. Can you believe it? Back at home, Shah and I only needed to drive five minutes to catch a movie.
I also want people to understand that as much as it sounds like I'm complaining — well, I sort of am, I'm only human — it does not mean that I am not grateful for the situation I am in; I have a roof over my head and I live comfortably enough. While I may not be able to order McDonald's at a moment's notice (the nearest McDonald's is also an hour away, guys) or have access to my favourite Japanese restaurant, I have good food on my table at every meal. Plus, all the good things in my life are, after all, provided by my wonderful husband and we are here for Shah's career advancement.
Nope, can't complain all that much.
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Nothing like a fresh new perspective to see how much I took things for granted, right?
But back to feeling uninspired — oh God, that sounds sad, sorry guys, but it's the truth — it made me realise I am not able to get ALL the inspiration needed to drive my passions just by staring at fashion sites and blogs, or even reading great books, or watch a good TV show/documentary, although they do help.
I feel personally and naturally more inspired when I'm around a flurry of activities. When I'm physically surrounded by interesting people who I feel comfortable with. When I'm exploring a new interesting place or re-exploring an old place that I have fallen in love with — which, by the way, explains why I've been feeling most "alive" whenever I travelled.
Or, the simplest of all, when I am in the comfort of my own home. That, is my zone.
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I suppose there's no better time to share with you guys that even though Shah and I will be staying in this new town for a long, long time, we will move into our very own house next year! I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to not live in a box anymore.
It won't be the same as living in my old hometown, with my family and friends minutes away instead of hours, with all the best malls and restaurants so close, but I will for sure stay positive and make the most out of it. Maybe, hopefully, that new house will have the comfort of my old house (which Shah and I do go back to occasionally), and hopefully, that place will also be where my sparks of inspiration are.
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When I'm feeling inspired, it actually shows through my dressing; I feel like the outfits I put on recently have been a little, well, uninspiring. Other related words: dull, feeble, boring. So, me being me, you can imagine how excited I am about finally having a proper closet for all my clothes, rather than living out of luggage as I have been doing.
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So, about this super casual outfit, how cute is this red round wicker bag? Unfortunately, I was unaware of some stray wicker strands sticking out of it, that pulled out some of the threads of my poor beloved leopard print top. I'll be very careful about what I wear with the bag next time, that's for sure.
Thanks for reading this post you beauties!
On that note: what are the things that inspire you the most?
Wearing: Zara teal leopard top | Uniqlo maxi skirt | Adidas Superstar "snakeskin" | Wicker bag from Jakarta, Indonesia
See older posts of me wearing the teal leopard top, black maxi skirt, and the Adidas Superstar snakeskin sneakers by clicking on each image:
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Oh dear Liyana!! If you're in a "fashion funk" it certainly isn't at all obvious. I understand the feeling however, and I think it's just part of the natural ebb and flow of creative inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI'm also wondering if the loss of the convenient, connection to your home and family and all the cozy,familiar groundedness that comes from those things has left you out of balance and yearning for a better sense of place...? Goodness knows that with all your traveling you NEED to arrive safely back among loving family and "place" in order to reconnect to your karma/spirit. I'm guessing your hotel/ apartment just isn't cutting it for you emotionally and that's adding to the stress and generating some feelings of emptiness...?
Your new home will inspire you Liyana. You'll love MAKING it that haven that you need and your creativity will find a muse in the process. You and Shah will love finding ways to reflect yourselves in YOUR new space!
Love, Jude
Thank you for your kind words, my lovely Judy <3 <3 <3
DeleteI think you've laid out my situation aptly: it definitely rings true when you said the hotel room I'm living in currently doesn't cut it for me emotionally, and YES it stresses me out occasionally, more than I'd like to admit. It was worse before though, I've learned to cope better with Shah's support.
I was used to living in the two-storey little terrace house back in my hometown (which we still keep) so switching to living in this "box" takes a whole lot of getting used to. I've been here for almost a year but every time I get to back to my terrace house it feels so relieving.
I lived in a small studio apartment when I was studying but the fact that I was able to see my friends all the time made all the difference. So it's not the "box" that's the main problem here, maybe. I think I would mind this tiny boxy space a lot less if my family and friends were to live in this area too!
Oooh as stressful as it was, I enjoyed decorating my old house. Our new house is two-storey too but slightly smaller, and I'm already pinning LOADS of inspirations on Pinterest.
I also recently looked at the photos of your house decor! I wish my kitchen is big enough for an island like yours. And I love your blue sofa, I keep going back and forth on what sofa colour to get.
I can't wait to get started on the house and move.
Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about your state of mind. It must be quite a challenge for you as it is something new in your life's chapter. And like you said, you're feeling uninspired but girl, I really mean it when I say that no matter where you are, who you're with, you are the ultimate inspiration for yourself. I never get bored seeing your outfits and things that you write about. I hope you will find some comfort in these words as I want to see more of your creative OOTDs even if they come in a luggage bag! But yes, please do take some time out just to regroup with yourself. I remember you told us that you got a new car. Perhaps, you could take it out for a spin, go some place, explore...just an idea here..I send you a lot of hugs and love. <3 xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Shanaz for your kind words and compassion. They're sort of a spoonful of chicken soup to the soul. Honestly I can't thank you enough for thinking all those wonderful things about wee me. They keep me going.
DeleteI am back in KL from Johor a bit longer than usual and am regrouping; I've been spending a lot of time with my family, especially my nephew and niece whom I missed so dearly! It helps a lot, even though those cute little rascals tire me out!
I hope you're well over there too Shanaz! <3